The story on whY penguins can fly

"How Penguins Actually Fly and No One Thinks They Can"

Penguins throughout the most recent years have been severely limited in their abilities in comparison to their friends. This limiting factor was of course their lacking in the ability to fly. Today, contrary to popular belief, most common species of penguins have evolved farther along and have developed the ability to take to the skies. This is evolution at its finest. The penguins now are not the left out and grounded birds that they once were but have become magnificent creatures of the skies. How did all this become possible? A fair question which I will now waste more of your time in explaining.
The story goes back to about ten years ago when Flippy the Penguin began experimenting with small fireworks. His interest then grew and he began playing around with larger fireworks. One day while working on a large firework he accidentally super-glued his beak to the firework. This under normal circumstances wouldn't be all that bad of a situation unfortunately, Woddles his friend came by and thought, "wow, what a nice big firework I think I shall light it." Flippy not being able to protest due to his whole beak problem simply watched in horror. Anyways, Flippy became, against his will, the first true penguin in flight. His flight lasted approximately 2.345 seconds and ended with a bright bang at about 234.4321 feet in the air.
Woddles felt bad for what he had done and spent the next 9 years telling others his story. One day he told his story to Sir Swims-a-Lot the second. Sir Swims-a-Lot the second then got a great idea. And its through his experiments and hard work that we now have penguins that fly on a regular basis. Sir Swims-a-Lot the second came up with the penguin rocket belt. His original model the R-1 exploded when looked at and his following models had other devastating problems until he had reached perfection with the R-12. The R-12 immediately went into mass production and it wasn't long before almost every penguin had one and was flying about the countryside. Sir Swims-a-Lot the second then went on to develop the R-13, but that model smelled funny and thus was lost in the prototype stage. However, the new R-14 model is a little more powerful and has had success in the market.
Now every penguin enjoys the freedom of flight. And that my friends is How Penguins Actually Fly and No One Thinks They Can.