It was Murphy who first observed that if anything can
possibly go wrong, it will go wrong. Deceptive in its simplicity, this profound
insight marked a turning point in our understanding of why things happen the
way they do. Indelibly etching itself into the human psyche, this revelation
ensured that never again would we look at the world in quite the same way.
Murphy somehow managed to unravel the very fabric of the cosmos itself and lay
bare the relentless perversity with which it is woven. "If anything simply cannot
go wrong, it will anyway.", he said. It was a defining moment in history and
Murphy's accomplishments provided the foundation for a host of others who would
follow in his giant footsteps. There will only ever be one Murphy but his successors
have, nonetheless, made significant contributions to his work.
- If anything can go wrong, it will.
- If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen
then.
- If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
- If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go
wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly
develop.
- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy's Law of the Open Road:
When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at
random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that:
1. the two cars are going in opposite directions, and
2. they will always meet at the bridge.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics:
Things get worse under pressure.
The Murphy Philosophy:
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws:
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy's Constant:
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Murphy's Law of Research:
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Addition to Murphy's Laws:
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ...
something is wrong.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps
if you know the answer. Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there
is a problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional
to the cost of the carpet.
The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will
throw up on it.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it,
it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and
then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Where patience fails, force prevails.
Bahaman's Law on Computer Software: For any given software, the moment you manage
to master it, a new version of that software appears in the market.
Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck:
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you, the worse you
know when this will happen, and vice-versa. and Relativistic correction of Murphy's
law: Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.
Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute): Regardless of your
frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.
Murphy's Laws of Airline Travel The distance to your departure gate is directly
proportional to the weight of your carry on luggage and inversely proportional
to the time remaining before your flight.
If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it.
If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in
your face.
When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is
congested.
Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
Remember the "Boomer-rang" effect; Whatever you do will always come back.
If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.
He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger.
Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.
The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to
impress.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string.
The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind.
Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.
The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.
When you see see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want.
Whatever you want to do, is Not possible, what ever is possible for you to do,
you don't want to do it.
Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.
The complexity and frustration factor is inversely proportional to how much
time you have left to finish, and how important it is.
Crespins law of observation: The probability of being observed is in direct
proportion to the stupidity of ones actions
A knowledge of Murphy's Law is no help in any situation.
If you apply Murphy's Law, it will no longer be applicable.
If you say something, and stake your reputation on it, you will lose your reputation.
Murphy's Law Current Revision Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone
Wrong! You just haven't been notified.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries,
is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."
If anything was worth doing, it would've already been done. Corollary: Nothing
is worth doing.
Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.
McFalls' Maxim: No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts. Translation:
You may come to terms with being screwed, but nevertheless you're still screwed.
Things are never as good as they are bad.
If Murphy's Law can go wrong it will.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come...
If at first you don't succeed destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
Someone else always seems to get the credit for your work. The harder you work
the more people there will be to claim credit except when it backfires. You
get all the credit for the dumb move.
All this stuff was found at: http://www.fileoday.com/murphy/index.html
and theres plenty more where that came from.
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