God's Promises
Response by Steve Argue
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Good Stories:
If You
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you,
when through no fault of your own something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can truly say that you wake each morning with undying loyalty to everyone
you know,
If you can find great happiness in the simplest things in life,
If you can forgive any action in the blink of an eye,
Then, you are almost as good as your dog.
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I always find myself here
On the outside, looking in;
Looking in on others lives
And love I'll never win.
In all the things I've done
And places where I've been
I'm always on the outside,
Looking in.
My life's been filled with loneliness
And emptiness and pain,
And every time I think I'll win
It comes around again
To take away the sunshine
And leave me in the rain;
This cold and lonely life here
Filled with pain.
So do I quit looking and trying to show
How much I'm willing to give,
And do I quit trying to be in their lives
And keep to myself as I live.
Doubts that started small
Grow ever stronger now, it seems,
Shadowing my daylight hours
And creeping in my dreams.
When I was uninvited,
Or chosen last for teams,
The reasons grow more obvious,
It seems.
Looking toward the future now,
I know not where it leads;
To loneliness and misery,
Or marvelous, great deeds.
I see there only things to fear
And empty, unfilled needs
And no one there to take me
Where it leads.
So do I quit looking and trying to show
How much I'm willing to give,
And do I quit trying to be in their lives
And keep to myself as I live.
- RD Clyde
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After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church's pastor slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit and, before he gave his sermon for the evening, briefly introduced a guest minister who was in the service that evening. In the introduction, the pastor told the congregation that the guest minister was one of his dearest childhood friends and that he wanted him to have a few moments to greet the church and share whatever he felt would be appropriate for the service. With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit and began to speak, "A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the Pacific Coast," he began, "when a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to shore. The waves were so high, that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright and the three were swept into the ocean as the boat capsized." The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began, looking somewhat interested in his story. The aged minister continued with his story, "Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life: to which boy he would throw the other end of the lifeline. He only had seconds to make the decision. The father knew that his son was a Christian and he also knew that his son's friend was not. The agony of his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. "As the father yelled out, 'I love you, son!' he threw out the life line to his son's friend. By the time the father had pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beneath the raging swells into the black of night. His body was never recovered." By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up straight in the pew, anxiously waiting for the next words to come out of the old minister's mouth. "The father," he continued, "knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus and he could not bear the thought of his son's friend stepping into an eternity without Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son to save the son's friend. How great is the love of God that He should do the same for us. Our heavenly Father sacrificed His only begotten Son that we could be saved. I urge you to accept His offer to rescue you and take a hold of the lifeline He is throwing out to you in this service." With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the room. The pastor again walked slowly to the pulpit and delivered a brief sermon with an invitation at the end. However, no one responded to the appeal. Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man's side. "That was a nice story," politely started one of the boys, "but I don't think it was very realistic for a father to give up his only son's life in hopes that the other would become a Christian. "Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied, glancing down at his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, he once again looked up at the boys and said, "It sure isn't very realistic, is it? But I'm standing here today to tell you that story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son for me. You see... I was that father and your pastor is my son's friend."
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When I said to the Lord "I am so short
of where you want me to be."
He gently answered "That's okay. That's all the farther you and I can walk
together."
When I said to the Lord "I don't know who I am."
He gently answered "That's okay. I know who you are."
When I said to the Lord "I am so tired
of fighting."
He gently answered "That's okay. Satan is down for the count."
When I said to the Lord "My actions aren't
reflecting my heart."
He gently answered "That's okay. Mine did."
When I said to the Lord "My mind is corrupted."
He gently answered "That's okay. Use mine for awhile."
When I said to the Lord "I don't know
how to love."
He gently answered "That's okay. I will give you free lessons"
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Have you ever considered going through
trial after trial to be a compliment? I had never thought of it this way until
I taught a college class on the story of Job. The following Bible passage
in particular stuck out to me.
"One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan
also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan
answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth
in it." Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job?
There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who
fears God and shuns evil." - Job 1:6-8
Tempting Job and giving him problems was probably the furthest thing from
Satan's mind. Until God chimed in. He nominated Job for the job of temptee.
Why? Why would God nominate Job for the job of losing all his oxen, donkeys,
sheep, and camels?
Why would God nominate Job for a job in which he would receive painful sores
from the soles of his feet to the top of his head? Why would God nominate
Job for a job whose description included burying all of his sons and daughters?
Why? Because Job could take it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 say, "No temptation has seized you except what is common
to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you
can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that
you can stand up under it."
God allowed Satan to take Job's possessions, servants, sons, and daughters
because he knew Job could bear it. It was the ultimate compliment. God knew
the kind of faith warrior Job was. He told Satan to hit him with his best
shot. He still lost.
Job's story has comforted, inspired, and encouraged countless hundreds of
thousands of Christians going through trials.
Maybe God is using you and the way you're handling trials you're going through
to comfort, inspire, and encourage others. In a strange way it's the ultimate
compliment.
- Contributed by Brent R. High
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There was once a bridge which spanned
a large river. During most of the day the bridge sat with its length running
up and down the river paralleled with the banks, allowing ships to pass thru
freely on both sides of the bridge. But at certain times each day, a train
would come along and the bridge would be turned sideways across the river,
allowing a train to cross it.
A switchman sat in a small shack on one side of the river where he operated
the controls to turn the bridge and lock it into place as the train crossed.
One evening as the switchman was waiting for the last train of the day to
come, he looked off into the distance thru the dimming twilight and caught
sight of the trainlights. He stepped to the control and waited until the train
was within a prescribed distance when he was to turn the bridge. He turned
the bridge into position, but, to his horror, he found the locking control
did not work. If the bridge was not securely in position it would wobble back
and forth at the ends when the train came onto it, causing the train to jump
the track and go crashing into the river. This would be a passenger train
with many people aboard. He left the bridge turned across the river, and hurried
across the bridge to the other side of the river where there was a lever switch
he could hold to operate the lock manually. He would have to hold the lever
back firmly as the train crossed. He could hear the rumble of the train now,
and he took hold of the lever and leaned backward to apply his weight to it,
locking the bridge. He kept applying the pressure to keep the mechanism locked.
Many lives depended on this man's strength.
Then, coming across the bridge from the direction of his control shack, he
heard a sound that made his blood run cold. "Daddy, where are you?" His four-year-old
son was crossing the bridge to look for him. His first impulse was to cry
out to the child, "Run! Run!" But the train was too close; the tiny legs would
never make it across the bridge in time. The man almost left his lever to
run and snatch up his son and carry him to safety. But he realized that he
could not get back to the lever. Either the people on the train or his little
son must die. He took a moment to make his decision.
The train sped safely and swiftly on its way, and no one aboard was even aware
of the tiny broken body thrown mercilessly into the river by the onrushing
train. Nor were they aware of the pitiful figure of the sobbing man, still
clinging tightly to the locking lever long after the train had passed. They
did not see him walking home more slowly than he had ever walked: to tell
his wife how their son had brutally died.
Now if you comprehend the emotions which went this man's heart, you can begin
to understand the feelings of our Father in Heaven when He sacrificed His
Son to bridge the gap between us and eternal life. Can there be any wonder
that He caused the earth to tremble and the skies to darken when His Son died?
How does He feel when we speed along thru life without giving a thought to
what was done for us thruogh Jesus Christ?
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Ramblings of a Roman Soldier
transcribed by Alan G. Smith, inspired by the Holy Spirit
Do you hear it? What you ask? "Tetelestai"
I can hear it even now. It beckons to me through the wind. I can tell you
are looking at me strangely.
Let me go back and explain why this word is so pregnant with meaning for me.
I had never seen anything remotely like that day. In my time spent with the
Legion in Jerusalem; I had helped perform many executions, but this one was
different. This day there were three young men condemned to die. The sentence
proclaimed on each of them had been death by crucifixion. At the palace, we
tied the large crossbeams of rough hewn wood across the backs of each of the
condemned. Their arms were outstretched on the wood demonstrating to everyone
throughout the city what was going to happen to them. We took "the parade
route" through town. We wound down every street to warn the people that the
Roman Empire was serious about crime. Everyone knew where we were headed.
There was this hill called "The Skull" where we performed the executions.
As we wound down the streets, the weight of the beams dug into their back.
Several splinters from the rough wood slivered deep into their skin. The first
man hollered curses at the crowd. There was no remorse there, only bitterness.
I can still hear his angry voice yelling at the top of his lungs. The bitterness
came out with his words and hung around him condemning him yet further. He
made no appeals for mercy. I guess he was holding onto the only thing he had
left. His strength had been robbed from him in the prisons. I had to prod
him with my sword several times to keep him moving.
The second man was almost the opposite of the first. In his tears, he cried
out for mercy. He mentioned his child and tried to tell a heart-rending story
to the crowd. But all they did was jeer back. I had to wonder about the wisdom
of killing this repentant man. But mine was not to wonder, mine was to take
orders.
As the third man came by, I heard the whispers and murmurs going through the
crowd. I overheard that this was Jesus. I figured this must be the guy that
had whipped the city into a frenzy and the reason why we were having this
execution so quickly. He didn't look like the criminal he was supposed to
be. Also on his head, there was a wreath of thorns. Each one had dug deeply
into his flesh encircling his head with blood. His olive skin was hanging
in strips on his back. He was so badly beaten that the pain had to be unbearable.
I glanced at him and saw such a peaceful look in his eyes that I couldn't
help but stare. This peace didn't make sense. Did he not realize that he was
about to die one of the most gruesome deaths possible? Did he know that he
would die from lack of air as he started to lack the strength to pull himself
up by his nail pierced wrists and finally his lungs would fill with liquid?
I was absorbed by this man, when he stumbled. The weight of the cross seamed
to be unbearable for him. I grabbed one of the young men standing by and shouted
at him, "CARRY HIS CROSS!" This man looked like he was going to hesitate,
but as I went for my sword he lowered his head in submission. I strapped the
cross to him and we continued to march.
After an eternity of marching, we approached the site of execution. The sound
of a hammer hitting a nail echoed throughout the countryside as we connected
the crossbeams to the posts. As we finished each one we would lift the post
up and into the hole in the ground. As we slid the cross with Jesus on it
into the ground, he asked for forgiveness for us. For us??
Why in the world did we need forgiving? Even more importantly, how come he
didn't hate us like every other condemned man. Did he not realize that we
were killing him? I wandered away with some of the other soldiers while we
waited for the condemned to die.
About three hours later, the entire land went dark. This was an unusual dark.
It wasn't like night. It was a stifling darkness. This day was getting weirder
and weirder. I just wanted this execution to be over with so I could go my
own way.
Then about three hours later, the darkness left and I heard Jesus scream out
"Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani" I wondered what he was screaming. I heard someone
say that he was calling Elijah. But then I heard someone else correct them
and say that what he was saying was Hebrew for "My God, My God why have you
forsaken me?" The cry was with such agony that I can still hear it in my ears.
It was not merely a physical agony. It went much deeper. It was the agony
of a heart breaking. I recognized that cry as one that I could never quite
understand. Finally something that made sense from this man. I was used to
seeing a sense of desperation from these men watching their life slip away.
I was thinking about this when he screamed out his final word, "Tetelestai"
It covered the countryside. It was long and drawn out and obviously painful
for him to say. Roughly translated that means "It is finished." But that alone
would make sense. Truly it was finished, after all he was dead after he uttered
it. But "Tetelestai" means more than that. It means that it is utterly and
totally complete and that nothing else could possibly be done to add to it.
My curiosity could take it no longer.** I went up to the cross and asked a
woman there who this Jesus was. She broke down in tears, and I couldn't understand
her through her sobs. But the man with her explained to me a fanciful story
of Jesus. He tried to tell me that Jesus was the Messiah. But I wouldn't listen.
After all, if Jesus was truly the Son of God then we wouldn't have been able
to kill him, right??
Before I left we went ahead and broke the legs of the two other criminals,
but we didn't waste our time with Jesus. He was obviously dead. One of the
other soldiers ran a sword through Jesus' side and blood and water flowed.
I had heard of these "tears of the heart" before but I had never seen it.
I left that site and tried to go about my day.
Well the next week as I was going around town, I stopped in my tracks as I
saw this guy that was in the spitting image of Jesus. I figured it must be
his brother or something. But as I stared I saw the nail marks still in his
wrists. As I stood there staring, he called me to him. With a slight smile,
he said, "I AM He" He had read my mind, I bowed down. He could read my heart
as well. He raised my head and told me, "What I had completely finished was
paying for your sins. Go and sin no more, for you are a new creation."
Now as I go everywhere, I hear "Tetelestai" It is God's way of reminding me
that sin is no longer my master. After all, nothing else could have been done.
I hear the word echoing in the breeze as the birds sing. It is a subtle sound
even in the hubbub of the crowd. Whenever I stop listening with my ears, I
can hear it again "Tetelestai" Can you hear it? Listen closely. There it is.
Yes, it is finished. Jesus could have done nothing more to reconcile you with
God. That is the great news!! As you hear "Tetelestai", remember once again
that you can be a new creation. The old will be wiped away! Shout it in praise
to Him, "Tetelestai." And when someone asks you what you are saying, you can
tell them about this man that died not only for me but for you and them as
well. "Tetelestai!"
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Here is a true story about a nine year old boy who lived in
a rural town in Tennessee.
His house was in a poor area of the community. A church had a bus ministry
that came knocking on his door one Saturday afternoon. The kid came to answer
the door and greeted the bus pastor. The bus pastor asked if his parents were
home and the small boy told him that his parents take off every weekend and
leave him at home to take care of his little brother. The bus pastor couldn't
believe what the kid said and asked him to repeat it.
The youngster gave the same answer and the bus pastor asked to come in and
talk with him. They went into the living room and sat down on an old couch
with the foam and springs exposed. The bus pastor asked the kid, "Where do
you go to church?" The young boy surprised the visitor by replying, "I've
never been to church in my whole life."
The bus pastor thought to himself about the fact that his church was less
than three miles from the child's house. "Are you sure you have never been
to church?" he asked again. "I sure haven't," came his answer. Then the bus
pastor said, "Well, son, more important than going to church, have you ever
heard the greatest love story ever told?" and then he proceeded to share the
Gospel with this little nine year old boy.
The young lad's heart began to be tenderized and at the end of the bus pastor's
story the bus pastor asked if the boy wanted to receive this free gift from
God. The youngster exclaimed, "You Bet! The kid and the bus pastor got on
their knees and the lad invited Jesus into his little heart and received the
free gift of salvation. They both stood up and the bus pastor asked if he
could pick the kid up for church the next morning. "Sure," the nine year old
replied.
The bus pastor got to the house early the next morning and found the lights
off. He let himself in and snaked his way through the house and found the
little boy asleep in his bed. He woke up the little boy and his brother and
helped get them dressed.
They got on the bus and ate a donut for breakfast on their way to church.
Keep in mind that this boy had never been to church before. The church was
a real big one. The little kid just sat there, clue- less of what was going
on.
A few minutes into the service these tall unhappy guys walked down to the
front and picked up some wooden plates. One of the men prayed and the kid
with utter fascination watched them walk up and down the aisles. He still
didn't know what was going on. All of a sudden like a bolt of lightning it
hit the kid what was taking place. These people must be giving money to Jesus.
He then reflected on the free gift of life he had received just twenty-four
hours earlier. He immediately searched his pockets, front and back, and couldn't
find a thing to give Jesus. By this time the offering plate was being passed
down his aisle and with a broken heart he just grabbed the plate and held
on to it. He finally let go and watched it pass on down the aisle. He turned
around to see it passed down the aisle behind him. And then his eyes remained
glued on the plate as it was passed back and forth, back and forth all the
way to the rear of the sanctuary. Then he had an idea.
This little nine year old boy, in front of God and everybody, got up out of
his seat. He walked about eight rows back, grabbed the usher by the coat and
asked to hold the plate one more time. Then he did the most astounding thing
I have ever heard of. He took the plate, sat it on the carpeted church floor
and stepped into the center of it. As he stood there, he lifted his little
head up and said, "Jesus, I don't have anything to give you today, but just
me. I give you me!"
~Author Unknown~
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When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.
When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish... God has counted
your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by ... God is
waiting with you.
When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.
When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn... God
has a solution.
When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated... God has the
answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope ... God has
whispered to you.
When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for... God has
blessed you.
When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe... God has smiled
upon you.
When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow... God has opened
your eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing... GOD KNOWS.
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An article in National Geographic several years ago provided
a penetrating picture of God's wings...
After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their
trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird
literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base
of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.
When he struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's
wings.
The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring
to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively
knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but
had refused to abandon her babies.
When the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother
had remained steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the
cover of her wings would live.
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge"
(Psalm 91:4)
Being loved this much should make a difference in your life.
Remember the One who loves you and then, be different because of it.
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A smile cost nothing, but gives so much. It enriches those who
receive it, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but
the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he
can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be made rich
by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business,
and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, cheer to
the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature's best antidote for
trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something
that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too
tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so
much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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Devil's Beastitudes:
Blessed are those who are too tired, busy or disorganized to meet with fellow
Christians on Sundays each week.
Their hearts are not in it.
Blessed are those who enjoy noticing the mannerisms of clergy and choir.
Their hearts are not in it.
Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked.
I can use them.
Blessed are the touchy.
With a bit of luck they may even stop going to church. They are my missionaries.
Blessed are those who claim to love God at the same time as hating other people.
They are mine forever.
Blessed are the trouble makers.
They shall be called my children.
Blessed are those who have no time to pray.
They are easy prey for me.
Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and
not about yourself.
I've got you.
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I Will Move
the Rock
by Cindy Lu
A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with
light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to
do and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that
the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun
down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the
unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to
his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in
vain.
Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to
enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's mind such as: "You have
been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why
kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it."
Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he
was a failure, these thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man even more.
"Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving
just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough."
And that he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of
prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have
labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that
which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that
rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"
To this the Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to
serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the
rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention
to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you
come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But,
is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your
back sinewed and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and
your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown
much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't
moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise
your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done.
"I, my friend, will now move the rock."
At times when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to
decipher what he wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience
and faith in him...
By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but it is still God
who moves the mountains. God, You call us to obedience everyday. Sometimes,
I want to see beyond obedience. I want to know why, how and when. Yet, it
is usually long after the obedience that I begin to realize what Your plan
was back then. So help me just be obedient for today. I am learning, Lord
that by being obedient today, I am stronger for tomorrow.
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Do You Want
A Donut?
There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending Seminary in Utah. In
Utah, Seminary classes are held as part of the school curriculum. Brother
Christianson taught Seminary at this particular school. He had an open-door
policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class
as long as they would abide by his rules.
Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted
him, so he went into Bro. Christianson's Seminary class. Steve was told that
he couldn't be late, so he would come in just seconds before the bell rang
and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first
to leave after the class was over.
One day, Bro. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk
with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You
think you're pretty tough, don't you?"
Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."
Then Bro. Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"
Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Bro. Christianson said. "Do you think you
could do 300?"
Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."
"Do you think you could?" Again asked Bro. Christianson.
"Well, I can try," said Steve.
"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this
to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it." Bro. Christianson
said.
Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it."
Bro. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room.
When class started Bro. Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these
weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with
cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited--it was Friday,
the last class of the day, and they were going to get an extra early start
on the weekend.
Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia,
do you want a donut?"
Cynthia said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten
push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"
Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then
Steve again sat in his desk.
Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Bro. Christianson then went
to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?"
Joe said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have
a donut?"
Steve did ten push-ups Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle,
Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut. And down
the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain
of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular
and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked,
"Scott do you want a donut?"
Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"
Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."
Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Bro. Christianson then turned
to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut
he doesn't want?"
Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"
Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and
my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut
on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on
the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and
down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.
Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning
to get a little angry.
Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"
Jenny said, "No."
Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Jenny
can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.
By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten
donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort
to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of
sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get
red because of the physical effort involved.
Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten pushups
in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of
those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson
started down the fourth row.
During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the
heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this
he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry
if Steve would be able to make it. Bro. Christianson went on to the next person,
and the next and the next.
Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking
a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I
have to make my nose touch on each one?"
Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups. You can
do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when
all he students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what
was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."
Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have
to do ten pushups for him."
Steve said, "Yes, let him come in."
Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right
now. Jason, do you want a donut?"
"Yes."
"Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did
ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed
a donut and sat down.
Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on
the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle
to lift himself against the force of gravity Sweat was dropping off of his
face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room.
The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro.
Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you
want a donut?"
Linda, too choked up to talk, just shook her head, no. Bro. Christianson asked
Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she
doesn't want?"
Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda. Then
Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I
help him?"
Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone.
Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?"
As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that
he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups,
his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy
hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything
that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died.
And many of us leave the gift on the desk uneaten.
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What if God had an answering machine?
Imagine praying and hearing this: "Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following four options: Press 1 for requests; Press 2 for thanksgivings; Press 3 for complaints; for all other inquiries, Press 4."
What if God used the familar excuse: "All of the angels are helping other customers right now, Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order it was recieved."
Can you imagine gettting these kinds of responses as you call on God in prayer?
-If you'd like to speak with Gabriel, press 1; for Michael,
press 2; For any other angel press 3; If you want King David to sing you a
psalm, press 6."
-"To find if your relative is here, enter his/her date of death and listen
for the list that follows."
-"For reservations at My Fathers House, simply press the letters J-O-H-N
on the keypad followed by the numbers 3-1-6."
-"For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth,
and where Noah's ark is, wait until you get here!"
-"Our computers show that you have called once today already...Please
hang up immediately."
-"This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday."
End of message.
Thank God, you can't call Him too often!!! You need only to ring once and God hears you. Because of Jesus, you never get a busy signal. God takes each call and knows each caller personally. You will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and He will say, "Here am I!"
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JESUS
IS . . . .
God is Lord Almighty, Omnipotent King, Lion of Judah, Rock of Ages, Prince
of Peace, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Provider, Protector, Paternal Leader,
Ruling Lord and Reigning King of all the universe. He is Father, Helper, Guardian
and God. He is the First and Last, the Beginning and the End. He is the keeper
of Creation and the Creator of all He keeps. The Architect of the universe
and the Manager of all times. He always was, is, and will be: Unmoved, Unchanged,
Undefeated, and never Undone. He was bruised and brought healing. He was pierced
and eased pain. He was persecuted and brought freedom. He was dead and brought
life. He is risen and brings power. He reigns and brings Peace. The world
can't understand him, the armies can't defeat Him, the schools can't explain
Him, and the leaders can't ignore Him. Herod couldn't kill Him, the Pharisees
couldn't confuse Him, the people couldn't hold Him! Nero couldn't crush Him.
Hitler couldn't silence Him, the New Age can't replace Him and Ted Turner
can't explain Him away! He is light, love, longevity, and Lord. He is goodness,
kindness, gentleness, and God. He is Holy, Righteous, mighty, powerful, and
pure. His ways are right, His word is eternal, His will is unchanging, and
His mind is on me! His is my redeemer, He is my saviour, He is my guide, He
is my peace, He is my Joy, He is my comfort, He is my Lord and He rules my
life. I serve Him because His bond is love, His burden is light, and His goal
for me is abundant life. I follow Him because He is the wisdom of the wise,
the power of the powerful, the ancient of days, the ruler of rulers, the leader
of leaders, the overseer of the overcomers, and the sovereign Lord of all
that was, is and is to come. And if that seems impressive to you, try this
for size. His goal is a relationship with ME! He will never leave me, forsake
me, mislead me, forget me, overlook me, and never cancel my appointment in
His appointment book! When I fall, He lifts me up. When I fail, He forgives
me. When I am weak, He is strong. When I am lost, He is The Way. When I am
afraid, He is my courage. When I stumble, He steadies me. When I am hurt,
He heals me. When I am broken, He mends me. When I am blind, He leads me.
When I am hungry, He feeds me. When I face trials, He is with me When I face
persecution, He stills me. When I face problems, He comforts me. When I face
loss, He provides for me. When I face Death, He carries me Home! He is everything
for everybody, everywhere, every time, and in every way. He is God, He is
faithful, I am His, and He is mine. My Father in heaven can whip the father
of this world, and so, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, understand
this: He said it, and that settles it. God is in control, I am on His side,
and that means all is well with my soul.
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Elusive
Butterfly
Long ago, in the land of Heart, lived a fair maiden who dared to dream dreams.
As a young child, she recalled how her father would set her on his strong
knee and tell her many wondrous stories about far away and exciting places;
lands she somehow knew she would one day come to also travel upon. Of the
many tales her father would tell, there was one particular story that always
held special meaning, even carrying her into adulthood. It was the presumed
true tale of a certain species of butterfly, one that was seen by very few.
What made the butterfly highly sought after was its emerald green wings which
housed two small heart shapes, one on each wing, thus its coined name, "the
elusive butterfly of love." It was said that the person who finds the elusive
butterfly would live happily ever after, thus, it is no wonder the maiden
searched ardently for the rare insect.
As a child, the fair maiden would prance about the woods with a butterfly
net; laughing, smiling, and dancing about in glee, certain she would soon
catch the elusive butterfly, but, to no avail. Weeks turned into months, and
months into years, and the fair maiden grew older and wiser, wondering if
perhaps the elusive butterfly of love was just a silly tale that old fishermen
pass on as they sip their bottles of whiskey at sea.
One day, tired of searching, the maiden set down her net, and placing her
face in her hands she began to cry. Upon the drying of her salty tears, the
fair maiden decided to go on with living, no longer would the search for the
elusive butterfly be part of her life.
Life, indeed, did go on, and one day, when the fair maiden was going about
her daily errands, an odd-looking shape fluttered about her head. The maiden
waved her arms to shoo the insect away, but no matter what she did, it would
keep flying about.
The next day, the maiden was surprised to see the odd-looking shape back again.
Closer inspection revealed it was some sort of moth or butterfly. In no way
did it look like the elusive butterfly of love, in fact, this butterfly's
markings and colors were quite different. And so, the fair maiden would go
about her errands, and the odd-looking butterfly would follow her, returning
each day to flutter about her head. It was not long before the fair maiden
and the butterfly formed a unique relationship. For some odd reason, the butterfly
seemed to enjoy the maiden's company, and the fair maiden felt a sense of
peace and comfort, knowing her winged companion would never leave her side.
Many years passed, and one day, for some strange reason, the fair maiden recalled
how she used to search for the elusive butterfly of love. In fact, the more
she looked at her faithful winged companion, the more she wondered about the
validity of the story of the elusive butterfly. Curiosity soon began to turn
into discontentment with the butterfly she had devoted so much of her life
to. "Look at you," she whispered to her faithful companion as he sat upon
her finger, "You are not beautiful emerald green. Now, especially after so
many years, your wings are dull and frayed. Do not worry though, my little
friend, you are not the elusive butterfly of love, but you have been faithful,
good, and true. I will keep you by my side always."
The maiden set down her winged companion and went outside to the rose garden
to get a breath of fresh air, and what did she see? Green as a sparkling cut
emerald fluttering about, a pink heart on each wing; the elusive butterfly
of love! Like a young school girl, the maiden pranced with glee, scarcely
able to believe her eyes! Suddenly, it dawned on the maiden that now she must
decide what to do; should she run for a net, or just watch the elusive butterfly
as it flutters about her garden, soon to fly away and most likely never be
seen again. Joy turned to sadness as the maiden knew what she must do. The
maiden gave the elusive butterfly one final look, acknowledging his existence,
and turning away, walked out of the garden to return to her faithful winged
companion who had befriended her so many years ago.
Inside the house, the maiden was shocked to see her dear friend looking strangely
ill. His wings beat weakly, and he could not even manage to fly. The maiden
gently picked up her companion and caressed him in the palm of her hand, clearly
evident he was at the end of his life. Upon the butterfly's final breath,
the maiden shed many tears, tears which flowed over her loving companions
frail body. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a glimmer of light came from out
of her hand. "What is this?" the maiden thought. The ragged wings of her beloved
companion seemed to reveal under them something more lovely. Carefully, and
tenderly, the maiden peeled away the tattered, old shell which encased her
winged friends body, to reveal beautiful wings of emerald green, a small pink
heart on each side. Both tears and joy filled the maiden's heart, and her
story was thus passed down by old fishermen who sipped whiskey at the sea.
Real life application:
Aren't we all guilty to some degree of searching for or desiring something
that, in most cases, is right under our very noses? Thankfully, unlike the
above fictional story, love is not elusive at all, and in fact, it is all
around us, if we would only fearlessly trust, not only God, but the power
of love.
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The Mirror
Author Robert Fulghum tells this story of one of his professors, a wise man
whose name was Alexander Papaderos:
At the last session on the last morning of a two-week seminar on Greek culture,
Dr. Papaderos turned and made the ritual gesture: "Are there any questions?"
Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for
a lifetime, but for now, there was only silence.
"No questions?" Papaderos swept the room with his eyes.
So, I asked.
"Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?"
The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.
Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long
time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I
was.
"I will answer your question."
Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold
and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter.
And what he said went something like this:
"When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived
in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a
mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.
"I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible,
so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone,
I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by
the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never
shine--in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me
to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.
"I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take
it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became
a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child's game but a metaphor
for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light
or the source of light. But light--truth, understanding, knowledge--is there,
and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.
"I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless,
with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world--into
the black places in the hearts of men--and change some things in some people.
Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the
meaning of life."
And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright
rays of daylight streaming through the window and reflected them onto my face
and onto my hands folded on the desk.
Jesus said, "I am the light of the world" (John 9:5), and His followers are
to be like that little mirror, reflecting the light of Christ into the dark
corners of the world. That is the meaning of the Christian life. "Let your
light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your
Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:16).
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THE STORY OF "TAPS" It all began in 1862 during the Civil War,
when Union
Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison's Landing in
Virginia.
The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During
the night, Captain Ellicombe heard the moan of a soldier who lay mortally
wounded on the field.
Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the captain decided
to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention.
Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the captain reached the stricken
soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the captain finally
reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier,
but the soldier was dead.
The captain lit a lantern. Suddenly he caught his breath and went numb with
shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his own son.
The boy has been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without
telling his father, he enlisted in the Confederate Army.
The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors
to give his son a full military burial despite his enemy status.
His request was partially granted. The captain had asked if he could have
a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for the son at the funeral.
That request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. Out of respect
for the father, they said they would give him only one musician.
The captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical
notes he found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth's uniform.
This wish was granted. This music was the haunting melody we now know as "Taps"
used at military funerals.
For those who are interested, these are the words to "TAPS" are:
Day is done,
Gone the sun,
From the lakes,
From the hills
From the sky
All is well,
Safely rest,
God is nigh.
-- Author Unknown
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Fun Things
A guy dials his home phone from work.
A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid.", answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm .... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was
her husband."
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
"What do I have to do?"
"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and
the jerk she is with."
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone.
"What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What?! There's no pool here?"
Long pause... "Uh .... is this 882-4821
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Top 15 Biblical ways to acuire a Wife
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war,
bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes.
Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea
1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress
him by watering his flock - Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman
as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come
out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges
21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep.
Note: this will cost you. - Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for
a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then
work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
That's right. Fourteen years of hard labor for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's
enemies and get his daughter for a wife. - David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around
a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.)
- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold
a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you like, go home and
tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your
parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one
for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare
to lose four sons, though=). - David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow.
(It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or
Leviticus, example in Ruth)
14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with
quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife?...NOT! - Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
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A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married? Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl." "Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry." "Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl .. the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything.. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me." "Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend. "She was looking for the perfect man," he said.
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On the outskirts of town, there was huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery." He cycled down the road fast as he could and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls." The man said, "Shooo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is." But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself." Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, yet they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done." They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
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Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?" The other replied, "You're darn right we're poisonous! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue."
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One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town. On a hot and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain." The people did as they were told and returned to church the following Sunday. But as soon as the parson saw them, he was furious. "We can't worship today. You do not yet believe," he said. "But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe." "Believe?" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas?"
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Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained
in an accident. In court, the company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer
Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the
lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded
my favorite mule, Bessie, into the . . ."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question.
Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" Farmer Joe continued,
"Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road
. . ."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to es- tablish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman
that he was just fine. Now, several months after the accident, he is suing
my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
But the judge was interested in Farmer Joe's story and said to the lawyer,
I'd like to hear what he has to say about his mule, Bessie. Joe thanked the
judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my
favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when
this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right
in the side.
"I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting
real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning
and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
"Shortly after the accident, a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could
hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at
her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman
came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.
"He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you
feeling?
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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and that I'll do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend; but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat
on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past 3 in
the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.
Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the
homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams
the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "That
wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring
rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock
on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd
told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the
Christian thing to help him."
So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He
opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts,
"Hey, do you still want a push?"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"
The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."
-- Submitted by Linda Collison
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A man was being chased by a tiger. He ran as hard as he could
until he was at the edge of a cliff with the tiger in hot pursuit. The man
looked over the edge of the cliff and saw a branch growing out of the side
of the cliff a few feet down. He jumped down and grabbed the branch just as
the tiger reached the cliff. The tiger growled viciously as the man sighed
a great sigh of relief.
Just then a mouse came out from a crevice and began to chew on the branch.
The man looked down to what was a drop of a thousand feet and sure death and
looked to the heavens and yelled out, "Dear God, if you are there, please
help. I will do anything you ask but please help."
Suddenly a voice came booming down from heaven, "You will do anything I ask?"
it questioned.
The man shocked to hear a reply to his plea yelled back, "I will gladly do
anything you ask, but please save me."
The voice from heaven then replied, "There is one way to save you but it will
take courage and faith."
The branch began to weaken from the mouse and the tiger was still growling
a few feet above the man, "Please, Lord, tell me what I must do and I will
do it. Your will is my will."
The voice from heaven then said, "All right then, let go of the branch."
The man looked down to a fall of a thousand feet and certain death. He looked
up at the hungry tiger a few feet away and he looked at the mouse still chewing
on the branch. Then he looked up at the heavens and yelled, "Is there anyone
else up there?"
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A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a
Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane.
Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts
of the pilot the plane started to go down. Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute,
yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately
there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,"
and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in
the world, I deserve to live!" He grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and
full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last
parachute and live in peace".
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry,
Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
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Jesus
Is Watching You
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when
he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked
all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a
parrot.
He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes," said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your
name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named
you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
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Jimmy and
the Parrot
Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with
a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive;
those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to
change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft
music...anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird,
and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more
rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming
and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet. Jimmy was frightened that he
might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door. The
parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that
I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness.
I will endeavor to correct my behavior".
Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to
ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken
did?"
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An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and
came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator
of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old
mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist, "You were right
about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of papyrus in his hand that said, '10,000 shekels
on Goliath.'"
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A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown. One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day. That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed, "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!
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Three friends die in a car accident, and upon their arrival to heaven, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first man says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second man says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last man replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'LOOK! HE'S MOVING!'"
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In the
Key of F--The Prodigal Son
Francis the Foolish felt little filial fondness for his flawless, fastidious
father, Ferdinand the Fourth. Following one February fortnight, Francis, feeling
footloose and frisky, forced and finagled his fond father to fork over five
hundred forty-five farthings, then fled his father's fertile fief.
Fleeing to foreign fields, Francis finally frittered and philandered away
his fortune on fancy, frivolous fashion, flirty females and flapper floozies,
firkins of foaming ale, freeloading, fickle fun-loving friends, and feasting
on fast-food and funky, forte music.
Fleeced by those fiendish fellows of the fleshpots, and facing fateful failure
and famine, Francis finally found himself flinging foul feed to the swine
in a filthy farmyard as a forlorn farmhand. Footsore and famished, he fain
would have filled his flaccid frame with filched food but found it fit for
only a footman. "Fie!" flared frail Francis, "My Father's flunkies fare far
finer." Fortunately, the frazzled fugitive finally faced the facts. Frustrated
from failure, frightened, and fulfilled foreboding, he forthwith from his
flophouse, fled his ill fluke to his faraway family.
Forging forthwith, he fell fatigued at his father's feet. Francis feebly phrased
his feelings: "Father," he fumbled, "My fetish behavior--I've fuddled and
flunked--and fruitlessly forfeited family favor....forgive me."
The far-sighted father, kissed Francis' forehead. And forestalling future
family fissures flagged his flunkies in a flurry. "Fetch fatlings from the
flock and fix a four-fold feast for Francis. Forthwith! Fall to! Faster!"
The first-born, Frederic the Feculent, Francis' feisty, faultfinding, flabby
brother, frugal and factious with a facade, frowned upon his father's forgiveness
of Francis' former foolish folderol. "That fathead! A fornicator! Flog this
flounder and foe!" he fulminated and fumed. This fly-by-night has fretted
and free-wheeled away our family finances!"
But the faithful father felt that Francis' former foibles should be freely
forgiven. "Filial fidelity is what fathers are for, Frederick," said Ferdinand
with feelings flowing. "Forsooth, the fugitive is found, so what forbids festivity?
Fly the flags freely, amid flowers, fifes, flutes, fiddles and fanfare...FLING
A FEAST!!"
Flustered Francis, face flushed, foreswore frippery forever more by forcing
his fetid frame into the friar's frock.
This converted parable, not a fairy tale or fable of any sorts, encourages
you, me, foibles and fugitives alike, to forsake freely the festivities that
flow with fiddle-dee flowers flirting the fiddlestick mind. The Father is
forever seeking those who flounder and are forlorn, who desire forgiveness
and a facelift. He freely forgives those who see their own failures--He gives
fixity! The Father is not a figment formed in some feeble mental faculty.
Furthermore, this Friend is a real fortress, unfluctuating,--a fulcrum and
fresh fountain, taking us at face value as He did our friend, the Prodigal
Son.
(Adapted and paraphrased on The Parable of the Lost Son--Luke 15:11-31
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The Lesson
Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them around him,
he taught them saying:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed
are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for
they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which hunger and thirst after
righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they
shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which suffer, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Then Simon Peter said, "Do we have to write this down?"
And Andrew said, "Are we going to have a test on this?"
Philip mumbled, "I don't have any paper."
Bartholomew asked, "Do we have to turn this in?"
John whined, "The other disciples didn't have to learn this."
And Matthew asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?"
Judas complained, "What does this have to do with anything?"
And James said, "I don't get it."
Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plan
and inquired of him, "Where are your theological imperatives and long-term
objectives in the cognitive domain?"
And Jesus wept.
Sound familiar? Thankfully the disciples who heard Jesus preach the Sermon
on the Mount were good listeners. Unlike some of us, they got Jesus' point.
They not only listened well, but they took his message seriously and acted
on it.
Do you listen well to God? Do you spend time in his Word? Do you let his instruction
change the way you live every day? That's what it means to be a disciple,
a follower of Jesus Christ.
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The Specials
God's
Promises:
- A promise from God is a statement we can depend on with absolute
confidence. Here aRe 12 promises for the Christian to claim.
God's presence -- "I will never leave you"
(Heb. 13:5)
God's protection -- "I am your shield" (Gen. 15:1)
God's power -- "I will strengthen you" (Isa. 41:10)
God's provision -- "I will help you" (Isa. 41:10)
God's leading -- "And when He puts forth his own sheep, He goes
before them" (John 10:4)
God's purposes -- "I know the thoughts that I think towards you,
says the Lord, thought of peace and not of evil" (Jer. 20:11)
God's rest -- "Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy
laiden, ad I will give you rest" (Matt 11:28)
God's cleansing -- "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and
just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"
(1 John 1:9)
God's goodness -- "No good thing will He withhold from them that
work uprightly" (psalm 84:11)
God's faithfulness -- "The Lord will not forsake His people for
His great name's sake" (1 Sam. 12:22)
God's guidance -- "The meek will he guide" (psalm 25:9)
God's wise plan -- "All things work together for good to them
that love God" (Rom. 8:28)
Our Daily Bread, January 1,1985
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Response
by Steve Argue
-Associate Pastor for High School, Elmbrook Church (April 1999)
Frequently evil rears its ugly head and we get a pure glimpse of it. On Tuesday,
April 20, 1999 at Columbine High, we saw its true colors. The New York Times
(4.22.99) stated that; "The incident [has] set off a national bout of soul-searching
and debates over whether the killings were spurred by easy access to guns
or by the violent images on television and in video games to which American
children are routinely exposed. President Clinton said in Washington that
'all of us are struggling to understand exactly what happened and why.'"
Shall we have more gun control? I don't know. Exactly how many times must
a person be exposed to violence before one acts on it? I don't know. Who am
I to blame? The internet, parents, schools, cliques? The story problem seems
so complex. What shall we do? While the nation as the New York Times says;
"soul-searches and debates," I would suggest we spend more time on the former
rather than the latter and as President Clinton stated; "struggle" a bit.
And struggle we will. Perhaps what we have seen in Littleton, CO, like a volcano,
is merely an eruption of evil. The fear I have is what lies underneath unnoticed
or covered up.
Evil reveals itself in its purest form through violence. And what exactly
is evil? Gregory Boyd (God at War) challenges us to "entertain concrete pictures
… when we discuss the problem of evil, if our discussion is to be authentic."
The evil event at Columbine High painfully reminds America once again that
evil is not an abstract concept, or some theoretical definition but the painful
agenda promoted by Satan himself.
Based on empirical observation, we know that Satan is not prejudiced and will
unleash his violence on any age, any sex, or any country. His objective is
simple: to destroy and to do whatever it takes to make hell on earth. What
does hell on earth look and feel like? Its people walking around saying; "I
am scared." Wednesday night our youth group talked about Columbine High. Teens
shared what they observed in their high schools. There appears to be fear.
Fear to reach out. Fear to stand out. Fear to stand up. Fear to be different.
Fear that their school might be next. In the land of the free and the home
of the brave, we are ironically introducing a generation to the land of the
hostage and the home of the afraid. We are turning into hostages of our own
freedom and we are in desperate need of saving.
Before we jump to the conclusion that the Devil made them do it. We need to
be aware that Satan's tactics are not only focused toward horrid events but
are also introduced as new and improved enticements that appear attractive
at best and harmless at worst. Evil does not have to force its way in, because
we voluntarily open the door and let it into our lives. We live in a time
when we seem to have more opportunities to do what we want to do rather than
what we have to do, and I believe we are revealing our true hearts.
Ravi Zacharias states: "I am absolutely convinced that meaninglessness does
not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary
of pleasure. And that is why we find ourselves emptied of meaning with our
pantries still full" (Can Man Live Without God?, 178). When asked by a reporter
why his friends would want to learn how to make a bomb, the founder of the
Trenchcoat Mafia stated that it was because of boredom. When pleasure proves
to not fill the void in one's soul, many will look to evil because filling
our void with evil is better than not being filled at all.
When we welcome evil into our lives, it is called sin. Sin means to choose
that which is contrary to or forbidden by God. Sin brings a great division
between God and us. We position ourselves as enemies of God and reject his
plan for our lives and our world. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they went
into hiding. Who would not fear standing naked and guilty before Almighty
God? Our world hasn't changed. Today we hide behind our successes (emphasizing
what I do over who I am) or our failures (playing the victim). If neither
of these work we try to make God disappear and convince ourselves that He
doesn't exist. After all, Dostoevski said that if God is dead everything is
justifiable.
The truth of the matter is that God doesn't go away. As soon as one looks
at Columbine High and says; "That's wrong!" They are making a moral judgment
based on a moral code. A moral code points to a Moral Code Giver, and this
moral code giver is God. Which brings us right back to our relationship to
God divided and destroyed by sin.
I have yet to perform a wedding for a couple who hoped their marriage would
end in divorce. I have yet to look at a baby picture and see a killer behind
the drool. Yet we must remember that evil doesn't start at the divorce or
the murder. It starts at the first lust and the first hate. Unchecked sin
leads to sin checkmating us. Our country has seen the fruit of voluntary enslavement.
Our separation from God also brings separation between each other. Our sin
will bring about 1.2 million divorces this year alone. Our sin will allow
40% of all children to go to bed tonight with a father not living at home.
Our sin keeps us believing that quality time is better than quantity time
with our kids. Our sin brings about labeling and cliques. Our sin has convinced
us that we can "make love" by having sex. Our sin brings racism. Our sin brings
a widening gap between the "haves" and the "have nots."
As a result, we have prepared an environment where 1 million children will
come into the world this year out of wedlock; where the average child will
see 8000 televised murders and 100,000 televised acts of violence by the time
he or she finishes elementary school; where 80 percent of teenagers will experiment
with alcohol; where 10 percent of teenage boys and 18 percent of teenage girls
to attempt suicide this year; where countless babies will be killed right
before they are born all in the
name of choice; and where the elderly will soon be killed in the name of mercy.
The Dow is up and economic growth is exploding, yet people, families, and
cities are imploding (Statistics from Walt Mueller, Understanding Today's
Youth Culture).
While statistics are helpful, they also make us numb. In America, we are conditioned
to forget. How long before we forget Columbine High? How many of us still
remember Jonesburo, AK? The sugar-coated evil of Satan is packaged in distraction.
How is it that a TV anchor-person can report on a tragedy, give us just enough
time to click our tongues or shake our heads, before saying "now this" and
we break to an ad for cat food or spend the next ten minutes pondering the
weather (Credit goes to Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death for this
concept).
Let's not downplay the eruptions of evil in our world nor the covered up evil
in our lives nor get distracted. Let's stop and absorb the full impact of
evil in our world. Let's let it bug us, rip us apart, until we're are brought
to tears.
If we are to look at concrete examples of evil, we need to also look at concrete
solutions. I offer the following.
Call Sin what it is… Sin. If one does not believe in God, then they cannot
condemn the killers in Columbine High, because without a moral code, anything
goes. If one makes a moral judgement, they must turn to the Moral Law Giver,
God himself and recognize their own sin and separation from God. Repentance
involves turning away from sin and turning to God. When we do this, we are
promised forgiveness and a restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
The message of the Gospel does not prescribe condemnation, but describes the
reality of our condemned state and God's loving solution for our salvation.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died
for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for
a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own
love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans
5.6-8). God does not intend on making us nice sinners, but transformed people
of God. When I call sin what it is, I then can appreciate and desire the good
news of God's salvation.
Get Connected. Sin has not only separated us from God, but has separated us
from each other. Once I know the love of God I can love others. Sin and fear
pull marriages apart. Sin and fear cultivate parent-child relationships filled
with hypocrisy and distrust. Sin and fear keep us looking great on the outside
while we are lonely on the inside. Sin and fear keep us competing with our
neighbors rather than cultivating relationships with them. Sin and fear bring
about cliques of exclusion, gangs of hatred, philosophies of skepticism and
cynicism, and relationships of distrust. James urges us to confess our sins
to each other and pray for each other so that we may be healed (5.16). Confession
to God brings forgiveness. Confession to each other levels the playing field
and shows us that we need each other's support, encouragement, and accountability.
If you and I admit we need help, we can call on God and each other.
Radically love one another. Sin and fear isolate us. Love builds bridges.
1 John 4.9 states; "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his
one and only Son into the world that we might live through him." As God has
reached out to us in love, we have the opportunity to love God back and to
reach out to others in love. Love requires action and desires nothing in return.
Teen to teen radical love crosses clique barriers and looks for friendship
not sex. Parent to parent radical love looks like parents investing in their
marriages and connecting with other parents (singles and couples) who can
share their joys and struggles of being a parent. Parent to teen radical love
looks like parents being available and consistent to their teens and teens
honoring and being honest with their parents.
Hold each other accountable by taking responsibility. Everyone is definitely
not doing it, whatever it might be. Accountability only works of we hold each
other accountable and this challenges our post-modern thinking. This takes
some guts. I am part of society and I will take a stand and reject the notion
that heroes can do wrestle mania, that entertainment can include killing people
on video games or watching others do so in movies. I am part of a family and
I will reject the notion that I am only proud of my children when they are
an honor student rather I will model to them unconditional love. As a male
I will hold my male friends accountable to rejecting satisfaction through
the lust of pornography or personal value through the addiction workaholism.
I will encourage them to deepen their relationships with their wife and kids.
No matter what the cost, I will raise the standard and spur others on to do
the same.
In conclusion, this past week has been a challenging one. I have wept for
the teens killed, I have processed the event with many of our own teens, I
have prayed for the families, and I have wrestled with the wretched face of
evil called violence. I have also confessed and repented of my own sins, hated
evil all the more, hugged my kids tighter, and have thanked the Lord for saving
me when I called for help. Let's call evil, violent or hidden, what it is
and treat it that way. For I know that, when it comes to the potential for
sinning, but by the grace of God, there is no difference between a youth pastor
and a member of the Trenchcoat Mafia.
-Steve Argue
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